


Skyway Avenue

by Woahsos



Category: Dan Howell - Fandom, Phan, Phil Lester - Fandom
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Fluff, suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4258695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woahsos/pseuds/Woahsos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER WARNING<br/>Dan is so sick of living. He doesn't want to be alive anymore. But he doesn't want to leave Phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skyway Avenue

Dan was leaning over the sink in their bathroom, blade in hand and blood dripping off his arm. He had added about 15 more cuts to his left arm and was about to add more to his right when he heard Phil knocking on the bathroom.  
"Dan, are you alright? You've been in there for a while.", Phil said, worry clear in his voice. Dan scrambled to clean his arm, locking away the blade and grabbing a towel.  
"Y-yeah just not feeling great.", He stuttered out. Phil hadn't known about his depression, or how he had been planning to commit. Nor did he need to know. Dan didn't want him to worry.  
"I'm coming in.", Phil said. Before Dan could tell him not to the door opened and Phil walked in. The second he spotted Dan's arms and the blood on the sink he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Dan for a moment before pulling the younger boy in a tight hug and started crying. Dan had started crying. When Phil pulled away he didn't say anything, which worried Dan, all he did was wrap Dan's arm and clean the sink, throwing the towel in a nearby hamper.  
"Where is it?", He whispered after a few moments of silence.  
"W-where's what?", Dan asked, clearly confused.  
"Your blade. I want to see it.", Dan pulled the razor out from where he had put it in the cabinet. He held it up so Phil could see it, and before he knew it, Phil was rolling up the sleeve of his sweatshirt.  
"You're going to put that blade to arm and cut me as many times as you would yourself.", He said, staring Dan directly in the eye.  
"I couldn't hurt you like that.", Dan said. Phil snatched the blade from Dan's hand and held it against his arm. "Phil stop!", He screamed.  
"Do you not like when I hold this to my arm?", Phil asked.  
"No! Phil please!", He cried, a new set of tears falling from his eyes.  
"I won't ask why you do it. I just ask that you stop and come to me when you feel like doing it.", Phil said, walking over to the toliet and flushing the blade. Dan watched as something that had been killing him slowly dissapeared. He felt relieved but at the same time like he would regret it at some point.  
"Why do you care so much?", He asked.  
"Because I would die for you, Dan. If you were to jump I would jump too. You're my life, Dan. So if you end yours, you end mine. If you hurt yourself, you hurt me. I would die for you. Dan, I love you!", He cried, sinking to his knees and putting his face in his hands.  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. Your life would be so much better without me.", Dan croaked, kneeling next to Phil.  
"You idiot. Did you not hear me? You are my life! Dan, if you died I don't know how I could go on. I don't know if I could go on. I would miss you so much. Your family would miss you, and your friends, and the fans. A lot of people would miss you."  
Before Dan could reply Phil lifted his head and pulled him in for a soft kiss. They stayed for a few moment while Dan rethought everything. He couldn't leave Phil, how could he possibly think of that? Phil was his everything, his reason to wake up in the morning, his reason to keep going, his everything.  
"I love you.", Dan said.  
"I love you too. Please don't do that to me again. I love you so much bear."  
They stayed in the bathroom for a while longer, just taking in each other's presence. All they needed was each other. They would die for each other.

Inspired by "Skyway Avenue" by We The Kings

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this was kind of depressing. If any of you guys feel this way you can always talk to me.  
> Wattpad: woahsos  
> Tumblr: pey-peyy  
> Twitter: peytonditello  
> love you guys ♡♡


End file.
